The summer of 1988 I was a member of the grounds staff of a campground. Everyone on staff was in their late teens to mid 20s, but it wasn't like an 80s film about summer camps as it was a church owned campground. The craziest thing we ever did was drive golf carts a bit recklessly and once we ate a chocolate cake with chopsticks.
One of the staff members was a guy named Steve. He was just out of high school, tall, athletic, and slightly goofy looking...He had a face that looked like someone from the 40s or 50s. He was good-natured , earnest, and socially inept having been raised in a very conservative religious background by parents who were grandparent age.
Steve had that particular surety about his faith and world views that a lot of 18 year old guys have, but when he made a statement it sounded like it was coming from someone much older and set in his ways. I liked to talk politics and faith with him just to hear him fluster at my more left leaning views.
Probably because of his lack of self doubt when it came to his world view I developed a song about Steve, I wanna Be Like Steve, and sang sometimes when he was being obstinate or did something right or was the first to jump in when some muscle was needed.
Steve got a kick out of the song, he even taught it to the boys in his cabin when he worked as a counselor for a week. They sort of turned it on him, when he had to be tough about lights out or goofing around they'd start singing I Wanna Be Like Steve and he'd fold.
Incidentally, I wanna Be Like Steve was written several years before the "I want to be like Mike" TV ad campaign and has nothing to do with that.
I Wanna Be Like Steve
I wanna be like Steve
6 foot 4 and slightly green
fairly smart and seldom mean
to anyone
full of youth and full of fun
knows how to get the job done...
I wanna be like Steve
I wanna be like Steve
With infrared light eyes to see
Rocks and hills, mountains and trees
for Steve to climb
with legs like trunks and arms like vines
he leaves the normal world behind
I wanna be like Steve
I wanna be like Steve
it's the only way to be
fight for truth, justice, liberty
across this land
Steve's a man's man's man's man's man
and God's gift to all women
I wanna be like Steve
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Monday, September 1, 2014
Lessons From Movies and TV: Your Vacation Plans
Your dream vacation or relaxing weekend getaway will be anything but.
At best you'll discover that the incredible cabin your boss/buddy/cousin-in-law loaned you is in fact a derelict shack in a less than desirable location. Or the wonderful hotel you booked lost your reservation/looked better in the pamphlet/is also hosting a a large group of monkey owners and their monkeys for a weekend symposium titled "How to Deal With Your Problem Monkey."
If the cabin is awesome or the hotel is beautiful but oddly empty of other guests or your campsite is incredible then you really need to worry because your trip will be a horrific nightmare that will probably only be survived by one or two in your party.
The better looking your group is the more horrific the events will be. If there's one black guy in a group of white people he will end up dead first. If it's not the lone black guy it will be the person who has the most useful skills for the situation. (That person, of course, could be the lone black guy, but in general the lone black guy is on the trip just to be the first one dead.) Anyone who decides to take their chances and make a run for it will end up dead.
If you can get through to law enforcement (highly unlikely as there will be no cell service in the area or the lines will be down or the radio, which was working when you got there, won't be working for one reason or another) they won't believe you when you tell them of the hell going on all around you. But if they do believe you and they actually show up they will either end up dead as soon as they step out of the car or will be in cahoots with whoever or whatever is causing problems.
But don't get all relieved and relaxed if you're the lucky one or two who get home alive because the person/creature you're pretty danged sure you killed in a fantastic explosion which blew up the cabin/hotel/campsite (yet fortunately did not start a massive forest fire) will find your house. Or you will end up returning to that same cabin/hotel/campsite either out of sheer stupidity or because you're the only one who can help a group of people going through the hell you went through.
Most all of the above will apply to any cross country backpacking/hitchhiking/road trip you decide to undertake.
There is an exception to all of the above: If you didn't want to go on the trip in the first place you will probably have a life changing experience (for the better) or you will be the one who escapes the hell.
But...If you didn't want to go on the trip in the first place and everyone else in your party/on the cruise/at the resort is having a wonderful time then you will have a really horrible time and be the person who gets thrown by the horse that "anyone can ride" or wanders into the poison oak or is served a bowl of dog food instead of the stew everyone else got. But stick with it as you will learn a valuable life affirming lesson in the end.
(written 2012)
At best you'll discover that the incredible cabin your boss/buddy/cousin-in-law loaned you is in fact a derelict shack in a less than desirable location. Or the wonderful hotel you booked lost your reservation/looked better in the pamphlet/is also hosting a a large group of monkey owners and their monkeys for a weekend symposium titled "How to Deal With Your Problem Monkey."
If the cabin is awesome or the hotel is beautiful but oddly empty of other guests or your campsite is incredible then you really need to worry because your trip will be a horrific nightmare that will probably only be survived by one or two in your party.
The better looking your group is the more horrific the events will be. If there's one black guy in a group of white people he will end up dead first. If it's not the lone black guy it will be the person who has the most useful skills for the situation. (That person, of course, could be the lone black guy, but in general the lone black guy is on the trip just to be the first one dead.) Anyone who decides to take their chances and make a run for it will end up dead.
If you can get through to law enforcement (highly unlikely as there will be no cell service in the area or the lines will be down or the radio, which was working when you got there, won't be working for one reason or another) they won't believe you when you tell them of the hell going on all around you. But if they do believe you and they actually show up they will either end up dead as soon as they step out of the car or will be in cahoots with whoever or whatever is causing problems.
But don't get all relieved and relaxed if you're the lucky one or two who get home alive because the person/creature you're pretty danged sure you killed in a fantastic explosion which blew up the cabin/hotel/campsite (yet fortunately did not start a massive forest fire) will find your house. Or you will end up returning to that same cabin/hotel/campsite either out of sheer stupidity or because you're the only one who can help a group of people going through the hell you went through.
Most all of the above will apply to any cross country backpacking/hitchhiking/road trip you decide to undertake.
There is an exception to all of the above: If you didn't want to go on the trip in the first place you will probably have a life changing experience (for the better) or you will be the one who escapes the hell.
But...If you didn't want to go on the trip in the first place and everyone else in your party/on the cruise/at the resort is having a wonderful time then you will have a really horrible time and be the person who gets thrown by the horse that "anyone can ride" or wanders into the poison oak or is served a bowl of dog food instead of the stew everyone else got. But stick with it as you will learn a valuable life affirming lesson in the end.
(written 2012)
Lessons From Movies and TV: Chess
In movies and on TV no one ever plays chess just for the enjoyment of it. Chess is only played because...
The player is a genius.
The player feels obligated to not let down a chess playing father or grandfather.
The player is a spy and the moves are actually codes.
The player is missing/has been murdered/is a serial murderer and the game on the player's (or the victim's) chess board is actually a secret message. (If it's not a secret message it's a an extremely valuable clue.)
The chess game is actually a metaphor for war/the interaction between rivals/life, the universe, and everything.
The player is a genius.
The player feels obligated to not let down a chess playing father or grandfather.
The player is a spy and the moves are actually codes.
The player is missing/has been murdered/is a serial murderer and the game on the player's (or the victim's) chess board is actually a secret message. (If it's not a secret message it's a an extremely valuable clue.)
The chess game is actually a metaphor for war/the interaction between rivals/life, the universe, and everything.
Lessons From Movies and TV: Not Dying in the Bath
If you know there's someone who might want to kill you don't take a bath with a TV or a radio or any plugged in electrical appliance sitting near by. The person who wants to kill you will show up and after some pithy or innocuous dialog he/she will throw the electrical appliance into the tub with you and then you will be dead.
This is also a valuable lesson if you know there is a mystical force attempting to kill you. But the mystical force will not engage you in dialog before dumping the electrical appliance into the tub.
Also mystical forces will kill you in the tub even if there is no electrical appliance near by. So if you know there's a mystical force trying to kill you just stay away from taking baths.
If you are avoiding taking baths and opt for showers instead be sure to watch out for shower curtains as they can be used by people and mystical forces to smother or strangle you.
(written 2012)
This is also a valuable lesson if you know there is a mystical force attempting to kill you. But the mystical force will not engage you in dialog before dumping the electrical appliance into the tub.
Also mystical forces will kill you in the tub even if there is no electrical appliance near by. So if you know there's a mystical force trying to kill you just stay away from taking baths.
If you are avoiding taking baths and opt for showers instead be sure to watch out for shower curtains as they can be used by people and mystical forces to smother or strangle you.
(written 2012)
Lessons From Movies and TV
There are some things which are apparently so important for the world to know that movies and TV show them to us over and over and over again.
For example, don't worry if you get paired up with someone you can't stand on a job or project because in a fairly short period of time the two of you will be the best of friends or in love.
Some other things I've learned from movies and TV...
When you're out of bullets throw the gun.
No matter how big the event or popular the restaurant you're going to you will find a parking space right in front.
If you're trying to hide from someone hide up (on the ceiling, a ladder, a bookshelf, etc). No on ever looks up when they're looking for someone.
If you discover a bag of white powder and you're wondering if it's drugs just lick a finger, dip it in the powder, and taste it. If it tastes like drugs it probably is drugs.
Walk in to any bar or diner and not only will you find an old fashioned coin operated juke box but that juke box will have at least one really cool record in it.
If you discover something really bad about the company you work for or your boss or a powerful coworker and you tell it in confidence to a trusted colleague and the trusted colleague is shocked to hear of your discovery and then asks "Have you told anyone else this?" and you reply "No, just you." your trusted colleague will then kill you or try to kill you shortly after your revelation.
If you're going away for the weekend and you don't think your teenage kids will have a party they will have a party, even if you tell them not to have a party.
If you're a cop and a suspect is running away don't bother hollering "Stop in the name of the law!" or "Stop! Police!" because they will not stop.
(written 2012)
For example, don't worry if you get paired up with someone you can't stand on a job or project because in a fairly short period of time the two of you will be the best of friends or in love.
Some other things I've learned from movies and TV...
When you're out of bullets throw the gun.
No matter how big the event or popular the restaurant you're going to you will find a parking space right in front.
If you're trying to hide from someone hide up (on the ceiling, a ladder, a bookshelf, etc). No on ever looks up when they're looking for someone.
If you discover a bag of white powder and you're wondering if it's drugs just lick a finger, dip it in the powder, and taste it. If it tastes like drugs it probably is drugs.
Walk in to any bar or diner and not only will you find an old fashioned coin operated juke box but that juke box will have at least one really cool record in it.
If you discover something really bad about the company you work for or your boss or a powerful coworker and you tell it in confidence to a trusted colleague and the trusted colleague is shocked to hear of your discovery and then asks "Have you told anyone else this?" and you reply "No, just you." your trusted colleague will then kill you or try to kill you shortly after your revelation.
If you're going away for the weekend and you don't think your teenage kids will have a party they will have a party, even if you tell them not to have a party.
If you're a cop and a suspect is running away don't bother hollering "Stop in the name of the law!" or "Stop! Police!" because they will not stop.
(written 2012)
Consumer
I'm excited about the new Nature Valley granola product I saw earlier today in Target. I'm so excited I decided not to buy it and just ride the thrill for awhile.
Later today, at home eating cheese and crackers, I saw an ad on TV for the new Nature Valley granola product. I didn't regret having not purchased the product and it was kind of exciting to see a new product on TV that I had just seen in the store. Not as exciting as seeing a prop in a movie that I or someone I know owns, but still exciting.
(written 8/31/2010)
Later today, at home eating cheese and crackers, I saw an ad on TV for the new Nature Valley granola product. I didn't regret having not purchased the product and it was kind of exciting to see a new product on TV that I had just seen in the store. Not as exciting as seeing a prop in a movie that I or someone I know owns, but still exciting.
(written 8/31/2010)
Nonsense, Nothing, and You
You.
You and your blank stare and a slight wetness at the back of your lips as you read and hope to see something happen in front of your eyes.
Sorry, that isn't going to happen.
What is going on right now as I write now is nothing.
Nothing is happening in front of your eyes.
In your mind the nothing is just creating the vaguest spark of something, much like a battery which has just enough juice in it to make you believe what you want to happen is going to happen but there's not enough juice to see it through.
This isn't about the juice of your mind, this is about the juice of my words which are so juice-less they're like a handful of cornflakes in your mind's mouth.
Your mind is chewing and you're thinking "These words would go much better with milk, I wonder if anyone has ever thought of that."
(Yes, they have.)
Having thought the above you also think "These dry words taste like cornflakes and cornflakes without milk and sugar essentially taste like wallpaper paste."
And you're right.
But what I want to know is: When did you taste wallpaper paste?
(written 8/30/10)
You and your blank stare and a slight wetness at the back of your lips as you read and hope to see something happen in front of your eyes.
Sorry, that isn't going to happen.
What is going on right now as I write now is nothing.
Nothing is happening in front of your eyes.
In your mind the nothing is just creating the vaguest spark of something, much like a battery which has just enough juice in it to make you believe what you want to happen is going to happen but there's not enough juice to see it through.
This isn't about the juice of your mind, this is about the juice of my words which are so juice-less they're like a handful of cornflakes in your mind's mouth.
Your mind is chewing and you're thinking "These words would go much better with milk, I wonder if anyone has ever thought of that."
(Yes, they have.)
Having thought the above you also think "These dry words taste like cornflakes and cornflakes without milk and sugar essentially taste like wallpaper paste."
And you're right.
But what I want to know is: When did you taste wallpaper paste?
(written 8/30/10)
Rhetorical Answers
This was a post about an Oktoberfest event:
Like beer?
Like milking cows?
How 'bout sawing logs?
Drinking beer?
Holding beer steins?
Dancing like a chicken?
Eating sausages, pretzels and sauerkraut?
How 'bout drinking beer?
Got a dirndl or lederhosen just hanging in your closet begging to be worn?
How 'bout any other 'non-traditional' headwear that you just can't wear anywhere else?
Like being in an environment where public drunken behavior is not only permitted, but encouraged?
(BONUS: Do you know what "electrolysis" has to do with any of this?)
If you answered YES to any/all of these questions, well, hold on to your keg-hat and styrofoam stein my friend, because the time has come! Yep, I drive by it every day - the tent is up!!
Questions were asked so I provided answers:
Like beer?
Yes.
Like milking cows?
No interest really. But I milked goats when I was a kid (no pun intended). It was OK. Can't say I liked it.
How 'bout sawing logs?
If you mean sleep, yeah. Actually cutting wood I don't mind but it's never on my Fun Things To Do! lists.
Drinking beer?
Didn't we already cover this?
Holding beer steins?
I do if they're full of beer (which I like drinking, see above). But just holding a beer stein for the sake of holding a beer stein does nothing for me.
Dancing like a chicken?
No.
Eating sausages, pretzels and sauerkraut?
Yes.
How 'bout drinking beer?
Never heard of it.
Got a dirndl or lederhosen just hanging in your closet begging to be worn?
No. But I have a Rockmount tie with a picture of a cowboy riding the range on it which I've never worn.
How 'bout any other 'non-traditional' headwear that you just can't wear anywhere else?
All my "headwear" is traditional and I wear it when and where I want.
Like being in an environment where public drunken behavior is not only permitted, but encouraged?
Yes to the first one, no to the second.
(BONUS: Do you know what "electrolysis" has to do with any of this?)
No bonus points for me.
If you answered YES to any/all of these questions, well, hold on to your keg-hat and styrofoam stein my friend, because the time has come! Yep, I drive by it every day - the tent is up!!
STYROFOAM™ is a registered trademark for a line of foam products manufactured exclusively by The Dow Chemical Company. They ask that you follow these guidelines when specifying STYROFOAM Brand Foam:
* When the word "STYROFOAM" appears in copy, it should be in upper case letters and followed by the words "Brand Foam." For example:
STYROFOAM Brand Foam
Like beer?
Like milking cows?
How 'bout sawing logs?
Drinking beer?
Holding beer steins?
Dancing like a chicken?
Eating sausages, pretzels and sauerkraut?
How 'bout drinking beer?
Got a dirndl or lederhosen just hanging in your closet begging to be worn?
How 'bout any other 'non-traditional' headwear that you just can't wear anywhere else?
Like being in an environment where public drunken behavior is not only permitted, but encouraged?
(BONUS: Do you know what "electrolysis" has to do with any of this?)
If you answered YES to any/all of these questions, well, hold on to your keg-hat and styrofoam stein my friend, because the time has come! Yep, I drive by it every day - the tent is up!!
Questions were asked so I provided answers:
Like beer?
Yes.
Like milking cows?
No interest really. But I milked goats when I was a kid (no pun intended). It was OK. Can't say I liked it.
How 'bout sawing logs?
If you mean sleep, yeah. Actually cutting wood I don't mind but it's never on my Fun Things To Do! lists.
Drinking beer?
Didn't we already cover this?
Holding beer steins?
I do if they're full of beer (which I like drinking, see above). But just holding a beer stein for the sake of holding a beer stein does nothing for me.
Dancing like a chicken?
No.
Eating sausages, pretzels and sauerkraut?
Yes.
How 'bout drinking beer?
Never heard of it.
Got a dirndl or lederhosen just hanging in your closet begging to be worn?
No. But I have a Rockmount tie with a picture of a cowboy riding the range on it which I've never worn.
How 'bout any other 'non-traditional' headwear that you just can't wear anywhere else?
All my "headwear" is traditional and I wear it when and where I want.
Like being in an environment where public drunken behavior is not only permitted, but encouraged?
Yes to the first one, no to the second.
(BONUS: Do you know what "electrolysis" has to do with any of this?)
No bonus points for me.
If you answered YES to any/all of these questions, well, hold on to your keg-hat and styrofoam stein my friend, because the time has come! Yep, I drive by it every day - the tent is up!!
STYROFOAM™ is a registered trademark for a line of foam products manufactured exclusively by The Dow Chemical Company. They ask that you follow these guidelines when specifying STYROFOAM Brand Foam:
* When the word "STYROFOAM" appears in copy, it should be in upper case letters and followed by the words "Brand Foam." For example:
STYROFOAM Brand Foam
Everything All At Once. With Penguins.
Everything happens at the same time, more or less. By which I mean at this moment everything that is going to happen at this moment is happening even if this moment may not be this moment where something in particular is happening.
Here, let me draw you this diagram using a hundred or so trillion dancing penguins to represent everything that is happening and a wheel of Swiss cheese to represent this moment. (Ignore the holes in the Swiss cheese, they aren't meant to represent an absence in the absolute of this moment, they are merely there as part of the Swiss cheese even though that means that part of what makes Swiss cheese Swiss cheese is the absence of Swiss cheese in certain places. So I guess anytime you happen to be in the absence of Swiss cheese you may actually be in the presence of a part of Swiss cheese.)
So penguins and a wheel of Swiss cheese. And a dance number. Something simple, choreographed to a player piano piece. No hats or canes for the penguins, I don't want to make this confusing.
5 or 15 notes or bars (or whatever we chop music up into in order to make sure penguins make the right move at the right time), each penguins does a spin on its left foot. On the note (yes, I'll go with notes) DINK. The music goes dunk dunk DINK and on DINK the penguins spin on their left feet. Or to put it almost exactly the same way: In the moment of DINK all penguins spin on their left feet.
But apparently the moment of DINK does not occur for all the penguins at the same time. Or so people with jobs which impress former classmates at high school reunions have told me. (That's what I meant by "apparently.")
So in the moment of DINK 50 trillion penguins might spin as choreographed, but another 25 trillion might be experiencing the second moment of dunk and the final 25 or so trillion penguins are experiencing the first moment of dunk.
Technically the moment of DINK is not happening all at once but still everything is happening at once.
I think.
There is a really good chance I'm completely wrong about this especially as I don't care whether I'm completely wrong. That's not to say I'm reckless, it's just to remind you that you didn't pay for any of this nor did I even ask you to read it. I just needed to distract you long enough to try and synch up a particular moment for spectacular results which do not involve dancing penguins or Swiss cheese (in it's presence or absence).
But you already knew that because I just told you.
(written 5/22/10)
Here, let me draw you this diagram using a hundred or so trillion dancing penguins to represent everything that is happening and a wheel of Swiss cheese to represent this moment. (Ignore the holes in the Swiss cheese, they aren't meant to represent an absence in the absolute of this moment, they are merely there as part of the Swiss cheese even though that means that part of what makes Swiss cheese Swiss cheese is the absence of Swiss cheese in certain places. So I guess anytime you happen to be in the absence of Swiss cheese you may actually be in the presence of a part of Swiss cheese.)
So penguins and a wheel of Swiss cheese. And a dance number. Something simple, choreographed to a player piano piece. No hats or canes for the penguins, I don't want to make this confusing.
5 or 15 notes or bars (or whatever we chop music up into in order to make sure penguins make the right move at the right time), each penguins does a spin on its left foot. On the note (yes, I'll go with notes) DINK. The music goes dunk dunk DINK and on DINK the penguins spin on their left feet. Or to put it almost exactly the same way: In the moment of DINK all penguins spin on their left feet.
But apparently the moment of DINK does not occur for all the penguins at the same time. Or so people with jobs which impress former classmates at high school reunions have told me. (That's what I meant by "apparently.")
So in the moment of DINK 50 trillion penguins might spin as choreographed, but another 25 trillion might be experiencing the second moment of dunk and the final 25 or so trillion penguins are experiencing the first moment of dunk.
Technically the moment of DINK is not happening all at once but still everything is happening at once.
I think.
There is a really good chance I'm completely wrong about this especially as I don't care whether I'm completely wrong. That's not to say I'm reckless, it's just to remind you that you didn't pay for any of this nor did I even ask you to read it. I just needed to distract you long enough to try and synch up a particular moment for spectacular results which do not involve dancing penguins or Swiss cheese (in it's presence or absence).
But you already knew that because I just told you.
(written 5/22/10)
How To Put Too Fine A Point On It
There is no evidence in brochures or ads from the period of pink being a primary color for the original inlays prior to the 1967 relaunch.
The pink inlay examples that were made during the original period are all from northern California and were not actually part of the original product line. They were custom fitted by Karikson's son-in-law, J. Polkner, who had a small metal fabrication and electroplating business, PolKner LTD. Karikson-Co sold Polkner LTD pieces that were 90% completed and Polkner LTD did inlays as ordered by their generally more upscale clients.
Most of Polkner's colors were similar to Karikson's original colors but the names were different. This wasn't an issue of copyright, just creative preferences. Karikson-Co's names had various inspirations, PolKner LTD usually went with a nautical/beach theme. Some examples :
Karikson-Co..............................Polkner LTD
Blaze••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••Sundown
Peacock•••••••••••••••••••••••••••Aqua Wave
Lemon Mist••••••••••••••••••••••••Chiffon Sail
Forest•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••Green Seas
Cloud••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••Beach Sand
Limelight•••••••••••••••••••••••••••Key Lime
Cinamon•••••••••••••••••••••••••••Port Light
The main color differences were Karikson-Co's black, brown, and gray ("Night", "Coffee", and "Silver"), and Polkner LTD's pink, terra cotta, blue, and light blue ("Flamingo", "Puerto", "Mediterranean," and "Polynesian").
(written 07/05/08)
The pink inlay examples that were made during the original period are all from northern California and were not actually part of the original product line. They were custom fitted by Karikson's son-in-law, J. Polkner, who had a small metal fabrication and electroplating business, PolKner LTD. Karikson-Co sold Polkner LTD pieces that were 90% completed and Polkner LTD did inlays as ordered by their generally more upscale clients.
Most of Polkner's colors were similar to Karikson's original colors but the names were different. This wasn't an issue of copyright, just creative preferences. Karikson-Co's names had various inspirations, PolKner LTD usually went with a nautical/beach theme. Some examples :
Karikson-Co..............................Polkner LTD
Blaze••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••Sundown
Peacock•••••••••••••••••••••••••••Aqua Wave
Lemon Mist••••••••••••••••••••••••Chiffon Sail
Forest•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••Green Seas
Cloud••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••Beach Sand
Limelight•••••••••••••••••••••••••••Key Lime
Cinamon•••••••••••••••••••••••••••Port Light
The main color differences were Karikson-Co's black, brown, and gray ("Night", "Coffee", and "Silver"), and Polkner LTD's pink, terra cotta, blue, and light blue ("Flamingo", "Puerto", "Mediterranean," and "Polynesian").
(written 07/05/08)
Post Comment
I'm sorry if I step on any toes here, but I agree with the OP. This is just the sorta unregulated over moderated liberal conservative populist snobbery wishy washy mish-mashery that is the reason gnomes have begun to replace trolls, sharks are now walking on land, the sky is green (and falling) at the edges, and cows feel it's all right to mosey about all day sayin' "Ooom-oom-oooooooooom!"
Sure, we all want free ice water and a heart felt "Hey there!" from our dry cleaner, but when I first got into this hobby you could get two Snicker's bars for 95 cents at most places, what's-his-name was still in office, and the average gas station restroom powdered hand soap dispenser actually had soap in it!
Now you're lucky if you can find medium brown shoe laces and are frequently stuck having to go with dark brown ones which pert near always look like black and generally require a lotta explanation.
So what's next? Blue grenadine? Extra EXTRA Crispy chicken at KFC? "America's Next Top Ramen"? C'mon!
If it comes to that I just have to quote that famous line "Now with more figs!" because clearly it's so small it can go anywhere making it convenient for home, office, school or leisure.
If that's "un-American" then call me Harvey (Or "Hank") and use the white courtesy telephone when you do!
(written 10/09/06)
Sure, we all want free ice water and a heart felt "Hey there!" from our dry cleaner, but when I first got into this hobby you could get two Snicker's bars for 95 cents at most places, what's-his-name was still in office, and the average gas station restroom powdered hand soap dispenser actually had soap in it!
Now you're lucky if you can find medium brown shoe laces and are frequently stuck having to go with dark brown ones which pert near always look like black and generally require a lotta explanation.
So what's next? Blue grenadine? Extra EXTRA Crispy chicken at KFC? "America's Next Top Ramen"? C'mon!
If it comes to that I just have to quote that famous line "Now with more figs!" because clearly it's so small it can go anywhere making it convenient for home, office, school or leisure.
If that's "un-American" then call me Harvey (Or "Hank") and use the white courtesy telephone when you do!
(written 10/09/06)
My Opponent
My opponent has used his position to
- Mislay taxpayer money and dry-cleaning orders
- Park for 5, even 7 minutes in 3 Minute Passenger Loading Only zones
- Get free water, salt, and pepper at area restaurants
- Enter major retail stores through the EXIT ONLY doors
- Place stamps on pre-addressed envelopes outside of the Place Stamp Here rectangle.
He has also been known on numerous occasions to refer to small pea gravel as medium pea gravel, and has attempted to order breakfast at local cafes and chain restaurants after the noted end of breakfast time.
It's time fer a change!
(written 9/23/06)
VOTE: CHEESE & CRACKERS!
From 2/21/10, an exchange between GROG and me in Tiki SHOUT! the chatroom on Tiki Central.
woofmutt: CHEESE & CRACKERS!!!
GROG: Cheese and Crackers suck. Peanutbutter and Jelly REIGNS!
woofmutt: It is true, Peanut Butter & Jelly do reign...They have reigned for decades. And it is time to put an end to their tyrannical dinner monarchy!
We the People have the right to VOTE for our dinner, not have a dinner based solely on lineage and tradition forced upon us!
END THE REIGN OF PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY!!!
VOTE: CHEESE & CRACKERS!
woofmutt: CHEESE & CRACKERS!!!
GROG: Cheese and Crackers suck. Peanutbutter and Jelly REIGNS!
woofmutt: It is true, Peanut Butter & Jelly do reign...They have reigned for decades. And it is time to put an end to their tyrannical dinner monarchy!
We the People have the right to VOTE for our dinner, not have a dinner based solely on lineage and tradition forced upon us!
END THE REIGN OF PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY!!!
VOTE: CHEESE & CRACKERS!
Rise & Shout!
Good morning Tiki-Landia! Today is Friday, February fifth, two thousand ten and this is...Rise & SHOUT!
Today on Rise & SHOUT!...He's the hottest star you've never heard of in the coolest movie you've never seen...Howard Schlesinger, star of the underground indie cult art house romantic comedy sci-fi action movie One Thing is the Law, Another Thing Is You...
Yikes, lovers! It's almost Valentine's Day! How would you like to be able to make home made peppermint patties for that special someone? Well Rise & SHOUT!'s mad scientist cook Mac Whatsit is going to be here to show us how!
Best selling author Patsy Sobile chat's with Rise & SHOUT!'s Carrie Myunberrie about her latest pop-up historical romance novella Smuggler's Heart...
And we have a hilarious commentary from Rise & SHOUT!'s Mad Dog Mike about why you can never find a pencil when you need one. Then later we'll be joined by hot new western swing noise band The Flying Butt Dresses to rock us into the weekend!
All that and more on Rise & SHOUT!
Now, this news...
(Posted at 8 AM on 2/5/10 in Tiki SHOUT! the chat room of Tiki Central)
Today on Rise & SHOUT!...He's the hottest star you've never heard of in the coolest movie you've never seen...Howard Schlesinger, star of the underground indie cult art house romantic comedy sci-fi action movie One Thing is the Law, Another Thing Is You...
Yikes, lovers! It's almost Valentine's Day! How would you like to be able to make home made peppermint patties for that special someone? Well Rise & SHOUT!'s mad scientist cook Mac Whatsit is going to be here to show us how!
Best selling author Patsy Sobile chat's with Rise & SHOUT!'s Carrie Myunberrie about her latest pop-up historical romance novella Smuggler's Heart...
And we have a hilarious commentary from Rise & SHOUT!'s Mad Dog Mike about why you can never find a pencil when you need one. Then later we'll be joined by hot new western swing noise band The Flying Butt Dresses to rock us into the weekend!
All that and more on Rise & SHOUT!
Now, this news...
(Posted at 8 AM on 2/5/10 in Tiki SHOUT! the chat room of Tiki Central)
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