People are still complaining about the Ice Bucket Challenge. It's almost as if a favorite TV show was cancelled for no reason or M&Ms got rid of the yellow M&Ms.
I don't get appeal of the Ice Bucket Challenge in that it's not really all that clever, but I also don't like Taylor Swift and look how popular she is. But these past few weeks I have heard ALS discussed in the media more than I have in my entire life. (And part of that discussion has been correctly calling it "ALS" which I'm definitely for. It's not Lou Gehrig's disease if you're the one dying from it.)
Although the Ice Bucket Challenge might seem dumb and all about our "Look at me!" social media society I know for a fact that people with ALS, their families, and their friends are happy to see the raised awareness of a really awful disease. And a fair chunk of money has been raised from all this ice water goofiness. That money may do nothing for finding a cure but money also goes to assist people with ALS.
Last year I saw plenty of people complaining about the rash of marriage equality symbols that flooded Facebook. The main negative comment was that everyone changing their profile pics wouldn't actually do anything for creating marriage equality. That was true, but it raised awareness which led to media coverage and discussions public and private. And more importantly it meant a hell of a lot to people who are/were banned from getting married.
As for the complaint that the Ice Bucket Challenge wastes water…Hey, it's great that some people are actually aware of how valuable water is. Keep that awareness fresh in mind, folks. We'll need it.
Sure the Ice Bucket Challenge water could be put to better use, and the wood and paint and drywall used to make sets for stupid TV shows and awful movies could be used to build low income housing.
The amount of water wasted in the Ice Bucket Challenge is almost statistically insignificant when it comes to all the fresh clean water we thoughtlessly use ever day in the US.
If 1 million people have done the Ice Bucket Challenge and they used 5 gallons of water each that would be…Yes, that's right; 5 million gallons of water. That is a lot of water.
In the US there are between 300 and 350 million toilets. For ease of numbers let's say the gallons of water per flush (GPF) is 2. (US toilets run from around 1.28 GPF in high efficiency models to 7 GPF in old toilets. 1.6 GPF is the Federal maximum allowed in new toilets.) And let's say that each US toilet is flushed just once a day. (Ha!) That's at least 600 million gallons of usually clean water used ever day just to get rid of our bodily waste. (I found numbers on the Internet, which is how you can check my numbers if you like.)
And that's just our toilets. We also thoughtlessly use or waste perfectly clean water every day running the tap til it's warm or cold, taking 20 minute showers, washing cars just so they look pretty, keeping lawns and golf course green, or flushing the toilet because there's a tissue we just blew our nose on in there.
You can go find the numbers if you like, I'll just say the amount of clean water we use everyday is way way WAY beyond all the buckets of ice water that will be poured over heads for the Ice Bucket Challenge.
The good news for all the critics is that the Ice Bucket Challenge will be gone real soon. Unfortunately ALS will still be around. But thanks to some goofy late summer trend more people are now aware of ALS than ever were before.
Of course as many critics are quick to point out awareness in itself can't do anything but it can lead to things being done. At the very least awareness can be a bit of cold comfort to a person with ALS or his/her family members who don't have to explain to another acquaintance or stranger what ALS is.
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Bright Spot in a Dark Future
The one bright spot of the machines becoming our overlords? Machines won't care about grammar, spelling, or punctuation. "Teh gay!" will be a standard machine disapproval comment. Then, as the machine shocks you with a cattle prod a sad face emoticon will cross its visual display screen and it'll say "w00t! EPIC FAIL!!! EPIC FAIL!!!"
(June 2010)
(June 2010)
Paint Story
I was writing a friend about wasting a lot of time on pieces which most likely fail to interest anyone when finished and I was reminded of this story...
On a visit to my folks one day in the late 80s my mom gave me a small blank canvas and wanted me to make a piece for her.
"What do you want me to paint?" I asked.
"Just whatever," she replied.
Knowing she probably wouldn't care for the abstract expressionistic cartoony collage and paint and pen and pencil nonsense I liked to spread around flat surfaces I suggested she tell me what she had in mind and I'd head in that direction.
"I just want you to make something that's yours," she said.
So I took the canvas and eventually took it on. It was one of my "serious" pieces, the type which take way more time than anyone would realize by looking at it because I keep coming back and tweaking, adding layers, trying to get the feeling right. (There are far better ways to waste one's time, by the way, such as watching reruns of "Friends" or reading the Weekly World News.)
Almost a year later I had completed the piece and despite her wishes I had tried to make something with mom in mind, a piece she'd at least find visually appealing in the color and some of the found objects I'd mashed into the mess.
I sent the piece to mom via a family friend traveling my folks way. Being my family I of course never heard whether or not she received it.
A month or so after I'd sent off the piece I was on the phone with mom and asked if she'd got it. She had.
"So what'd yuh think?" I asked
"What was I supposed to think?" she replied.
"Do you like it?"
"What's to like? It's just a mess of stuff. We can't figure out what it is."
"You told me to make one of my pieces."
"I meant a painting..."
"That is a painting."
"I meant a painting of something you could tell what it was."
"Well I asked you to tell me what you wanted."
"I wanted you to make a piece of your art..."
And so on.
Later that year I was at the folks house and asked where the piece was.
"I think it's in the hall," mom said.
I looked, it wasn't in the hall.
"Oh that's right, I put it in our bedroom."
I went in the bedroom. I didn't see the piece.
"It's by the book case," mom replied to a hollered query.
I looked around the book case. Not there. I hollered another question down the hall.
"On one of the shelves," mom answered.
The book case was packed and I couldn't figure out how the piece was was sitting on one of the shelves. Then I spotted it on the bottom shelf. It was under a pile of books. I pulled it out and took it home with me.
The piece hung around my place for a few years. One day a friend's girlfriend saw it and commented she liked it and wondered if I could make her a piece like it some day. I took the piece of the wall and handed it to her, and said "Here, it's yours."
(June 2010)
On a visit to my folks one day in the late 80s my mom gave me a small blank canvas and wanted me to make a piece for her.
"What do you want me to paint?" I asked.
"Just whatever," she replied.
Knowing she probably wouldn't care for the abstract expressionistic cartoony collage and paint and pen and pencil nonsense I liked to spread around flat surfaces I suggested she tell me what she had in mind and I'd head in that direction.
"I just want you to make something that's yours," she said.
So I took the canvas and eventually took it on. It was one of my "serious" pieces, the type which take way more time than anyone would realize by looking at it because I keep coming back and tweaking, adding layers, trying to get the feeling right. (There are far better ways to waste one's time, by the way, such as watching reruns of "Friends" or reading the Weekly World News.)
Almost a year later I had completed the piece and despite her wishes I had tried to make something with mom in mind, a piece she'd at least find visually appealing in the color and some of the found objects I'd mashed into the mess.
I sent the piece to mom via a family friend traveling my folks way. Being my family I of course never heard whether or not she received it.
A month or so after I'd sent off the piece I was on the phone with mom and asked if she'd got it. She had.
"So what'd yuh think?" I asked
"What was I supposed to think?" she replied.
"Do you like it?"
"What's to like? It's just a mess of stuff. We can't figure out what it is."
"You told me to make one of my pieces."
"I meant a painting..."
"That is a painting."
"I meant a painting of something you could tell what it was."
"Well I asked you to tell me what you wanted."
"I wanted you to make a piece of your art..."
And so on.
Later that year I was at the folks house and asked where the piece was.
"I think it's in the hall," mom said.
I looked, it wasn't in the hall.
"Oh that's right, I put it in our bedroom."
I went in the bedroom. I didn't see the piece.
"It's by the book case," mom replied to a hollered query.
I looked around the book case. Not there. I hollered another question down the hall.
"On one of the shelves," mom answered.
The book case was packed and I couldn't figure out how the piece was was sitting on one of the shelves. Then I spotted it on the bottom shelf. It was under a pile of books. I pulled it out and took it home with me.
The piece hung around my place for a few years. One day a friend's girlfriend saw it and commented she liked it and wondered if I could make her a piece like it some day. I took the piece of the wall and handed it to her, and said "Here, it's yours."
(June 2010)
Hot Dog Tartare
My take on classic Steak Tartare...Hot Dog Tartare. It's easy to make and perfect for summer. Enjoy!
Hot Dog Tartare
1 lb. "raw" hot dogs
2 T yellow mustard
2 T sweet relish
1 T ketchup
1/4 cup finely chopped onion
1/4 cup sauerkraut squeezed dry and chopped fine
1 fried egg
Finely chop the hot dogs. Mix the chopped hot dogs, mustard, sweet relish, and ketchup together. Put in refrigerator to chill at least two hours.
To serve: Mound the Hot Dog Tartare on a chilled plate. Place the chopped onions on one side of the Hot Dog Tartare, the chopped sauerkraut on the other. Top the Hot Dog Tartare with the fried egg.
Serve with toasted thin slices of hot dog bun.
Chili Dog Tartare
Omit the mustard, relish, and ketchup and mix the chopped hot dogs with a 1/2 cup of cold chili. Replace the chopped sauerkraut with 1/4 finely diced American cheese.
(June 2010)
Hot Dog Tartare
1 lb. "raw" hot dogs
2 T yellow mustard
2 T sweet relish
1 T ketchup
1/4 cup finely chopped onion
1/4 cup sauerkraut squeezed dry and chopped fine
1 fried egg
Finely chop the hot dogs. Mix the chopped hot dogs, mustard, sweet relish, and ketchup together. Put in refrigerator to chill at least two hours.
To serve: Mound the Hot Dog Tartare on a chilled plate. Place the chopped onions on one side of the Hot Dog Tartare, the chopped sauerkraut on the other. Top the Hot Dog Tartare with the fried egg.
Serve with toasted thin slices of hot dog bun.
Chili Dog Tartare
Omit the mustard, relish, and ketchup and mix the chopped hot dogs with a 1/2 cup of cold chili. Replace the chopped sauerkraut with 1/4 finely diced American cheese.
(June 2010)
One Aternoon in March
Late in the afternoon on Friday, March 26th I was in Chinatown. The sun was out and there was some great light on the old buildings and I was wandering around taking useless photos. I took the above shot of the tree and poles and wires and stepped a few feet west to see the other side of the building. As I was looking up at the building a pigeon shit in my mouth.
No, my mouth was not wide open, it was just open enough that as the pigeon shit made an angular splash across my face and shoulder a dollop of it landed right inside the corner of my mouth.
As I began spitting the slightly salty and acidic but otherwise flavorless pigeon shit (now you know) out of my mouth I wasn’t so much disgusted by the immediate situation as I was concerned about all the diseases one might be exposed to via pigeon shit. Yes, it was disgusting, but the idea that I could become “Patient X” for the next wave of deadly bird flu was really really annoying.
I grabbed a bandana I usually have in my satchel and wiped the affected part of my mouth. I was spitting and cussing when a semi-present possibly drunk woman who had been the one human witness to the pigeon’s triumph commented on the birds shitting on people.
"One just shit in my mouth," I told her.
"Oh," she replied, "Oh yeah, the birds they...I'll remember you."
Unimpressed with the impression I had made I headed around the corner to Bush Gardens where I was meeting friends for Happy Hour. I walked in and right to the bar and said to the bartender "I'm going to be having a drink, but first I need a glass of water because a pigeon just shit in my mouth." He didn't even hesitate and gave me a glass of water.
I headed to the bathroom and rinsed. I noticed the soap dispenser, added a small shot to the glass, swirled, and rinsed. I did that again, and again, and again, and again.
My phone rang, it was Sparky. He and Cookie had just arrived at Bush Gardens and he was asking where I was.
I am in the Bush Gardens bathroom because the second worst thing that can happen to someone in the city just happened to me."
"A bum shit on you," Sparky replied without hesitating.
"I said the second worst thing."
"A bum puked on you."
"Ok, the FOURTH worse thing," I said, skipping what I knew would be number three.
"A bird shit on you," he said again without hesitation.
"Not on me," I replied, "A pigeon shit in my mouth."
“What, were you staring up at the sky with your mouth wide open?” he asked.
Sparky had called from the bar and I told him to buy me vodka so I could rinse with that. I figured having a pigeon shit in your mouth was probably on a list of situations that allowed you to demand a friend buy you a drink.
I walked back to the bar and handed the bartender the glass.
"It's been rinsed with lots of soap and water,” I told him so he wouldn't think I had brought back a glass covered in spit and pigeon shit.
"You know that's good luck," the bartender said to me.
"A pigeon shitting in your mouth is good luck?" I asked incredulously.
"Yes, good luck. People get shit on by birds, it's good luck."
"I think you're just making that up, but thanks."
I asked Sparky if he'd got me a vodka. Sparky said the booze would have to be at least 50% alcohol in order to be effective.
"You should get a shot of 151," he said.
I asked the bartender if they had 151 rum. He said they did and I ordered a shot.
“I got this,” the bartender said refusing my money. I think he knew the incredible luck I had brought into the bar meant it would be a profitable evening. I tipped him a couple bucks, headed back to the bathroom, and on the way took a good big sip of the rum and rinsed.
“I think that was a mistake,“ I thought having forgotten the feel of 151 in the mouth. My tongue, cheeks, and roof of my mouth felt as if they were giving up their outer layer of skin.
I walked into the bathroom and spit the 151 in the sink. I added some water to the remainder and rinsed again and followed that up with a few more rinses. There was one other guy in the bathroom and I apologized for all the rinsing and spitting into the sink.
“A pigeon shit in my mouth,” I explained.
“You should by a lottery ticket,” he replied.
(March 2010)
No, my mouth was not wide open, it was just open enough that as the pigeon shit made an angular splash across my face and shoulder a dollop of it landed right inside the corner of my mouth.
As I began spitting the slightly salty and acidic but otherwise flavorless pigeon shit (now you know) out of my mouth I wasn’t so much disgusted by the immediate situation as I was concerned about all the diseases one might be exposed to via pigeon shit. Yes, it was disgusting, but the idea that I could become “Patient X” for the next wave of deadly bird flu was really really annoying.
I grabbed a bandana I usually have in my satchel and wiped the affected part of my mouth. I was spitting and cussing when a semi-present possibly drunk woman who had been the one human witness to the pigeon’s triumph commented on the birds shitting on people.
"One just shit in my mouth," I told her.
"Oh," she replied, "Oh yeah, the birds they...I'll remember you."
Unimpressed with the impression I had made I headed around the corner to Bush Gardens where I was meeting friends for Happy Hour. I walked in and right to the bar and said to the bartender "I'm going to be having a drink, but first I need a glass of water because a pigeon just shit in my mouth." He didn't even hesitate and gave me a glass of water.
I headed to the bathroom and rinsed. I noticed the soap dispenser, added a small shot to the glass, swirled, and rinsed. I did that again, and again, and again, and again.
My phone rang, it was Sparky. He and Cookie had just arrived at Bush Gardens and he was asking where I was.
I am in the Bush Gardens bathroom because the second worst thing that can happen to someone in the city just happened to me."
"A bum shit on you," Sparky replied without hesitating.
"I said the second worst thing."
"A bum puked on you."
"Ok, the FOURTH worse thing," I said, skipping what I knew would be number three.
"A bird shit on you," he said again without hesitation.
"Not on me," I replied, "A pigeon shit in my mouth."
“What, were you staring up at the sky with your mouth wide open?” he asked.
Sparky had called from the bar and I told him to buy me vodka so I could rinse with that. I figured having a pigeon shit in your mouth was probably on a list of situations that allowed you to demand a friend buy you a drink.
I walked back to the bar and handed the bartender the glass.
"It's been rinsed with lots of soap and water,” I told him so he wouldn't think I had brought back a glass covered in spit and pigeon shit.
"You know that's good luck," the bartender said to me.
"A pigeon shitting in your mouth is good luck?" I asked incredulously.
"Yes, good luck. People get shit on by birds, it's good luck."
"I think you're just making that up, but thanks."
I asked Sparky if he'd got me a vodka. Sparky said the booze would have to be at least 50% alcohol in order to be effective.
"You should get a shot of 151," he said.
I asked the bartender if they had 151 rum. He said they did and I ordered a shot.
“I got this,” the bartender said refusing my money. I think he knew the incredible luck I had brought into the bar meant it would be a profitable evening. I tipped him a couple bucks, headed back to the bathroom, and on the way took a good big sip of the rum and rinsed.
“I think that was a mistake,“ I thought having forgotten the feel of 151 in the mouth. My tongue, cheeks, and roof of my mouth felt as if they were giving up their outer layer of skin.
I walked into the bathroom and spit the 151 in the sink. I added some water to the remainder and rinsed again and followed that up with a few more rinses. There was one other guy in the bathroom and I apologized for all the rinsing and spitting into the sink.
“A pigeon shit in my mouth,” I explained.
“You should by a lottery ticket,” he replied.
(March 2010)
What's a littel?
What's a littel? A littel is a the smallest variety of lentil!
Littels are typically 3/4 the size of standard lentils but the most prized littels are those that are half the size of standard lentils. These "petit littels" are the littel of choice for Salade Froide de Littel a traditional dish from Northern France.
Littels are mentioned in the Bible as their small size was often used as a point of comparison.
"To hold one joy the width of a littel is better than to dwell in a mansion of sorrow. Proverbs 33:12
(March 2010)
Littels are typically 3/4 the size of standard lentils but the most prized littels are those that are half the size of standard lentils. These "petit littels" are the littel of choice for Salade Froide de Littel a traditional dish from Northern France.
Littels are mentioned in the Bible as their small size was often used as a point of comparison.
"To hold one joy the width of a littel is better than to dwell in a mansion of sorrow. Proverbs 33:12
(March 2010)
Monkey Lamp Light
It was only because of the late hour,
pencil, paper, wine,
and dim monkey lamp light
that we figured
and rechecked the figuring
and concluded:
If you tilt your head sideways
while squinting and smiling
as hard as you can
you will see
all that is beautiful
for that moment.
And as a bonus feature
of sorts,
hovering between the moments,
a little of what was
and a little of what will be
and a lot of where we came from
and definite proof
of where we will be
one hundred years
from tonight.
(written March 2010)
pencil, paper, wine,
and dim monkey lamp light
that we figured
and rechecked the figuring
and concluded:
If you tilt your head sideways
while squinting and smiling
as hard as you can
you will see
all that is beautiful
for that moment.
And as a bonus feature
of sorts,
hovering between the moments,
a little of what was
and a little of what will be
and a lot of where we came from
and definite proof
of where we will be
one hundred years
from tonight.
(written March 2010)
The Baby Jesus Twins!
The Baby Jesus Twins! Infant sons of God sent to Earth to aid mankind during these troubled times!
The Baby Jesus Twins! A Do-Good Divine Duo helping those in need and freaking out fundamentalists everywhere!
The Baby Jesus Twins! Two-as-one as one part of the three-as-one Godhead!
The Baby Jesus Twins! Each endowed with unique Gifts-O-God Powers!
Gold Baby Jesus The fiery fundamental Baby Jesus! “No man cometh unto the father but by me.”
Gifts-O-God powers include:
• Water Walking Ability
• Dead Raiser Vision
• Kung-Fu Grip
• Temple Turnover Terror
Silver Baby Jesus The easygoing, friendly Baby Jesus! “God is love.”
Gifts-O-God powers include:
• Healing Hands
• Full Immersion Submersibility
• Glam-Blast Glitter Ray
The Baby Jesus Twins!
Here that They might kick Evil’s ass and kick it more abundantly!
(December 2009)
The Baby Jesus Twins! A Do-Good Divine Duo helping those in need and freaking out fundamentalists everywhere!
The Baby Jesus Twins! Two-as-one as one part of the three-as-one Godhead!
The Baby Jesus Twins! Each endowed with unique Gifts-O-God Powers!
Gold Baby Jesus The fiery fundamental Baby Jesus! “No man cometh unto the father but by me.”
Gifts-O-God powers include:
• Water Walking Ability
• Dead Raiser Vision
• Kung-Fu Grip
• Temple Turnover Terror
Silver Baby Jesus The easygoing, friendly Baby Jesus! “God is love.”
Gifts-O-God powers include:
• Healing Hands
• Full Immersion Submersibility
• Glam-Blast Glitter Ray
The Baby Jesus Twins!
Here that They might kick Evil’s ass and kick it more abundantly!
(December 2009)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)