A post popped up on Facebook asking something like "HOW DID WE MEET?" The post was made by someone who, like most the people I know on social media, I've never met. This was my reply.
It was a spring or autumn afternoon in May or October of 2008. What I thought were some excellent dance moves turned out to just be me tripping on a piece of uneven sidewalk while listening to Steely Dan. I cursed early 21st century technology for not having the ability to make feasible toe mounted sonar devices which would alert the wearer to uneven urban terrain.
When I got home I wrote a letter to the Chronological Constant Constabulary (CCC) as to why 2008 was taking so long to finish up. I wrote this letter on a manual typewriter as there are no electric typewriters in the age the CCC anchors itself on and because my handwriting is lousy. Halfway through my letter the typewriter ribbon went dry.
I immediately stopped all the clocks in my house so as to not lose any time and headed to your typewriter ribbon and buggy whip repair shop which had just recently come into existence at this point of the story.
When I walked in to your shop I saw you listening intently to an old AM radio tuned to some static and I said "The voices you're probably listening for are on a digital signal."
"Well, duh," you replied.
"I'm looking for a..." I started to say.
"Your life story I don't need," you interrupted, "Just point and pay and get the hell out. You can friend me on Facebook if you want to. I don't care."
I pointed at the ribbon I needed, you rang up the outrageous price, I paid you in an assortment of small bills and change which you immediately took offense at.
I smiled a winner's smile, took the ribbon, and grabbed one of your business/carrot pudding cake recipe cards. I glanced at the recipe and said "I'll tell you what's wrong with this later." Then I left.
We have been make believe friends ever since.
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